I grew up having a very stringent relationship with money.
Even as a child, I have vague memories of myself, where I would be very careful about what I would ask my parents about things I want. I’d go to a shop to buy clothes, would envy the most beautiful clothes on display and then tell myself, this is not for me, I should not think about it, because it’s going to be expensive. I should not bother my parents with my wishes. The result was – I spoke less and less about it and continued to only say “yes” to things that looked affordable.
Knowing that we had a difficult time financially as a family, I’d try to spend as little as possible. For example – when I joined university, I had to travel 30 km for my college by public transport and then from the bus stop, take another rickshaw to reach the college. But at that time spending even Rs. 20 on an auto-rickshaw felt like it was too much. I didn’t like taking the inter-city bus either (although it was comparatively cheaper), because the day I tried it, someone stole my wallet with which I lost my identity card and some cash that I was carrying. So the only option that I was left with to save was “To walk”. So I’d walk approximately 2 km each way so I don’t have to ask for more cash from my father the next day.
My friends would make fun of me back then when I used to tell them, but for me I was doing the best possible I could knowing the state we were in. Looking back now, I think it was still a good idea to stay healthy with the walk. 🙂
“Save as much, spend less”.
“Don’t spend money on yourself because it can be spent on something more valuable or kept for a long-term.”
These are some of the statements that I kept telling myself most of the time.
But as I started earning myself and met people with different perspectives, over the years my relationship with money also started evolving. I started questioning the past actions and realised – the “state of saving” is not equivalent to “the state of abundance”.
I realised that I can keep on saving, but how was that enriching my experiences? When I will be 60 years old, and when I look back at my life, do I have memories and experiences that I would be proud of? I slowly started to change my habits to get to a feeling of abundance. Whether that was buying a dress that I really liked, enrolling for unique adventures during my travels, gifting my family or loved ones or spending on learning a new skill like language or music.
For me, abundance is to be thankful for every penny that I receive. Spending it happily on things and experiences that bring me joy. What I was doing in the process was sending signals to my mind that it was okay to spend money on myself. That I deserved some good treats in life and that I have very much earned all of it with all the hard work over the years.
Thus, instead of feeling guilty about my actions, I am in a happier state. This happy state is what makes me grateful for what we receive, and the more I am thankful the more I attract money.
I don’t dream of becoming a millionaire. I only wish to have enough for myself, to take care of my needs, live comfortably, and be in a position to help someone who may need a little support. ❤️
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