Last month, I left the apartment – the place I called home for a good few years. It was my first home in Paris. With the best view from the 28th floor, I could get a glimpse of the city, straight from my little studio – with a view stretching across the Bastille, Montmartre, the Montparnesse Tower and more. All I could not see was the Tour Eiffel which I am sure I would have if I had been on the other side of the building.
From the surface, it was just another place that I had rented, my ninth house in the past seven years. But still, when I packed everything and left – there was so much emptiness. I felt numb, as if I had lost something of my own, something very precious.
What was so special about it that made me feel this way? Naturally, I went down the memory lane. I had moved into this city where I barely knew anyone, thus slowly this place became a safe haven for me. Whatever I will go through, my happiness and my worries – it will be here, I thought to myself.
Slowly, I found my rhythm and my routine. I was woken up by the bright sunshine, going to work taking a metro, observing and absorbing everything about the new city, giving my best at work so I can find a full time job and stay back with a visa. Everything started to fall into place. .
The moment I would get in the metro after work, I was already thinking about making a hot cup of masala tea and resting on the sofa watching a series or reading a book with the entire Paris in the background, as soon as I reached home. I witnessed life go by, from the beginning of the day to the sunset, the sounds of life and nature, the most common of which was the sound of the ambulances passing by every few minutes. This sound had become a part of life to an extent that the silence started bothering me more.
I used to write. My journal. I had lots of thoughts to reflect on and time to write it down, that I completed writing at least 3 journals during my stay there.
And then there was a special space that I had created which was so colorful that it became the place for me to unwind and meditate. To calm down my nervous system. The fairy lights made the ambience nostalgic and the lights that came from the moonlight and outside the streets, filled the room with so much of warmth that I felt as if I was being watched by a guardian angel and being cared for.
To cook for myself was another activity that I really enjoyed doing – with some music on, I would just sing and cook and in the end the dinner or lunch I had felt were the most heavenly meals that I ever tasted. And in the other moment, I found myself singing, recording and watching it come into play.
Being single, I I was in love with myself taking care of myself, doing things on my own, just enjoying the moments and being present.
One thing I realised was each place I moved to -became a special place for me, because of all the love and warmth that I poured into that place. When some of my friends came over to my place, they’d say – you know what there is some kind of special peace in this house and I had to say – it’s the peace that I have created than the peace of the place itself.
“If light is in your heart, you will find your way home.” attributed to the 13th-century Persian poet and Sufi mystic Rumi
